Lessons Learned

Wow. It's hard to know what to say after all this time. I like keeping this blog up because I don't feel like my other blog is really the place to get into deep theological discussions, since I mainly use it to let people back home know what is going on in my life. But haven't posted here in a while.

I'm thinking about the title of my blog: "A Godly Conformance." Have I becomed more conformed into the image of God this semester at Biola? I seriously am thinking about this as I am typing. I can say one thing, I really have enojoyed my Biblical Interpretation and Spiritual Formation class. I loved learning about how all the different genres of Scripture contribute to the Bible. While I use to spend all my time reading epistles, I now have ventured into Proverbs and am discovering a wealth of wisdom within. I also have been required to practice spiritual disciplines, which I feel overall has been a very beneficial practice for me--the intentionality of it really.

So, I think I have grown spiritually this semester. While I've had to fight through some tough trials, I look around at the relationships I've formed, the ways I've grown as a holistic individual, and the exapansiveness of my interest in Scripture and can only conclude that I have indeed grown closer towards perfection.

I have spent a lot of time recently thinking about The Kingdom of God. For whatever reason, this concept, which was so important in Jesus' ministry and in Revelation, never really struck me. I think it was something my pastor said, or maybe it was the images I ran across in Revelation...whateve it was I have gained this incredible longing to get out of this life and live in that New Jerusalem that is described in Revelation. To be rid of this body, this corrupted world, and the pithy struggles that tie me down--to obtain a perfected, glorified body that can forever be in physical fellowship with God.

Now I know, the Kingdom is technically here...and I am already part of it--I know. But the Kingdom is not compltely here--it has yet to come in full. I just have gained this completely reverential respect for my God. No matter if I think what He does or is to do is just, I am willing to put my own emotions aside and serve Him. My attitude is this: "Who am I to question the justice of the God of Justice. Who am I to judge the morality of the God of righteousness. Why does God need to fit into man's view of morality?" He doesn't. God is God and that is just it. The very fact that He created us in His own image, allowed us free will, then saved us from the detriments of our free will is enough for me to believe He is a good God. I have no business telling God how to direct His affairs--I really have just found comfort in trusting in His plan for the universe--accepting what He has done and giving Him the glory--for He has given me reason to live; He has promised me glory in His kingdom even though I'm a born sinner.

I really am beginning to understand Paul's dillema of wanting to depart this world, but knowing that God still wants him here. I can understand when he writes that the dead in Christ groan inwardly, waiting for the ushering in of the new dispensation. I groan for it to. I want to go home...